


my universe is filled with you

by uwuxuxi



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Established Relationship, Kissing, M/M, Magical Realism, Square: Candle, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27496288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uwuxuxi/pseuds/uwuxuxi
Summary: Jaemin sets his box of candles aside when he is done with his task and gathers the wax shavings to set them, delicately, in Hermes’ offering bowl. He is silent for a moment as he memorizes Jeno’s heat and the weight of his arms around his waist. He will never forget anything about Jeno, they both know this, but it comforts Jaemin to know that Jeno is real and not something his dreams made up to ease him through his lonely nights. “You take my heart with you, Jeno.”
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 60
Collections: THE COLLECTION





	my universe is filled with you

**Author's Note:**

> the first fic for my [thedreamlab](https://twitter.com/thedreamIab) bingo square! this is an au based off a twitter thread a month ago, which you can find [here!](https://twitter.com/faeriedoyoung/status/1318656147352584192?s=20)  
> and a huge thanks to nina, [iceice_ty](https://twitter.com/iceice_ty) on twt for beta'ing for me!

“You’re going again,” Jaemin says softly, not looking at Jeno, instead kneeling in front of his altar to gather his box of yellow votive candles from under a notebook. He hears Jeno sigh, set his bag down, and kneel beside him. “I'm not going to stop you.” He takes a small anthame and carves a sigil he knows as well as he knows Jeno’s name into the sunny wax of the candle.

“I know you won’t,” Jeno says before he wraps his arm around Jaemin’s waist and tucks his face into his neck with a deep inhale. The bergamot and palo santo essential oil dabbed under his jaw center Jeno, reminds him of all he has to lose if he doesn’t come home. “I’ll miss you—“

“—Every minute of every day,” Jaemin finishes, smiling warmly despite the nerves coiling in his gut. “Even when the days are too long to count—“

“And the nights are too short to miss you at all,” Jeno finishes in turn. He presses a kiss to Jaemin’s throat and watches as Jaemin carves his sigil into the rest of the candles in the box. He's never had the nerve to ask what the sigil means, but he knows that it’s meant to guide him home and be a beacon of sorts. It hasn’t failed them yet and Jeno knows it will not fail them now. 

Jaemin sets his box of candles aside when he is done with his task and gathers the wax shavings to set them, delicately, in Hermes’ offering bowl. He is silent for a moment as he memorizes Jeno’s heat and the weight of his arms around his waist. He will never forget anything about Jeno, they both know this, but it comforts Jaemin to know that Jeno _is_ real and not something his dreams made up to ease him through his lonely nights. “You take my heart with you, Jeno.”

“And I will bring it home to you,” Jeno answers as easy as ever and gives Jaemin’s neck another warm kiss. One of his arms moves to take golden coins from his pocket, setting them down in the bowl alongside the wax.

_Grant me safe travels_ , Jeno thinks at the same time Jaemin closes his eyes and begs _bring him home to me_.

“I have to leave before 3 am,” Jeno says after a stretch of comfortable silence. He pulls Jaemin into his lap and squeezes him for a long moment.

The clock, Jaemin knows, reads 2:45. “Are you going to leave me without a kiss?” He teases, but the effort is half-hearted at best. 

Jeno lets him have it with a soft laugh, lifting his chin to catch Jaemin’s lips in a slow kiss. Their lips move together in a familiar rhythm and Jaemin loses himself in this, the push and pull, and the mixing of Jaemin’s bergamot and palo santo with Jeno’s stronger cedar and petrichor around them. “I won’t be gone forever,” Jeno promises as they pull away and the digital clock behind Jaemin’s back burns 2:50 into the dark of their room. “Just long enough for you to miss me.”

★☾★

Jaemin is halfway through his box of twenty-four candles when Jisung lets himself into the house and the clock reads 4:04 am.

He doesn’t ask if there’s been any word at all, simply settles down on a pillow beside Jaemin and lights a candle of his own. It’s orange and smells like cedar and when tears roll down Jaemin’s cheeks at the familiarity of it, Jisung pulls his cousin into his arms and lets him sob into his hoodie as he cards his fingers through the soft pink of Jaemin’s hair.

It’s starting to fade. Jisung knows he won’t redo it without Jeno there to apply the dye with steady and loyal hands.

Jisung watches quietly as the flames of the candles stretch out and dance in tandem. Twin flames burn brightly in the mirror and beckon Jeno home as Jaemin, clinging to the fleece hanging loosely around Jisung, sobs his fears away. Jisung knows that Jeno would never, _ever_ , leave Jaemin alone if he had anything to say about it but Jisung wonders, twelve days into Jaemin’s loyal vigil if Jeno has a say in his return at all. 

★☾★

Jaemin does not have a meltdown when he has to buy a new box of candles before Jeno returns home. He does _not. He_ merely sniffles to himself in Michael's as Renjun, quietly, puts two full boxes into the cart.

“He’ll come back,” Renjun says as he gathers an embroidery hoop and carefully collects red, gold, and yellow thread. Jaemin sees the sigil take shape as Renjun’s fingers brush over the threads and with a thick swallow he hopes that it will help.

“Of course he will,” Jaemin answers instead of voicing his fears, swallowing his anxiety down with a long sip of his iced coffee. “He always does.”

“He always does,” Renjun echoes and it sounds hollow.

★☾★

The first time Jaemin dreams, it is thirty-three days since Jeno slipped away into the mist. 

His eyes open to a lavender sky with pale blue clouds and a familiar eye smile that sends his heart right up to his throat.

Jeno is as beautiful as he was the morning he left Jaemin, red hair swaying lightly in a breeze that Jaemin can’t feel. 

They are not in the same plane of existence—what Jeno can feel, Jaemin can only imagine—but Jaemin reaches out to touch him all the same. He knows that he will not be able to speak but he rests his fingers on Jeno’s and throws his energy in his boyfriend’s direction.

_Jen, you’ve been gone so long._ Their fingers slide together and the sensation of dewy grass tickling the back of his neck startles a gasp out of him; they’ve never been able to do this before. _A month and three days_.

_A month…?_ Jeno’s smile slips away and Jaemin wants to put it back as desperately as he wishes this dream were real. _I didn’t think it was that long. The days have been long, but the nights…_

_Too short to miss me?_ Jaemin hopes the familiar phrase is enough to bring even the smallest smile to Jeno’s lips.

_And yours have been long enough to have missed me for a lifetime,_ Jeno frowns deeper and brings Jaemin’s hand to his lips to kiss. He does not smell of petrichor and cedar, but the press of his lips over Jaemin’s knuckles is familiar enough to ease some of the anxiety in his chest. _That’s hardly fair._

_Since when has your family legacy ever been fair to you?_ It is not meant to be an accusation but Jaemin winces as the thought frees itself from his brain. The need to travel had taken Jeno’s brother and father from him and was, quite unfairly, trying to take Jeno from Jaemin. The liminal transits are not for witches to traverse so whenever Jeno steps into that mist, he goes into places Jaemin cannot follow.

When Jeno leaves him, even for a short moment, he only has his dreams and even those come rarely. 

_Never,_ Jeno answers with a soft sigh, eyes closing as he holds Jaemin’s hand to his mouth. _I'm sorry I'm taking so long to come back, but I'm bringing something back for you._

_It better be spectacular,_ Jaemin snorts and brushes his finger over Jeno’s cheek. He feels the same and something squeezes tight around his heart. _Or else I will be very cross with you._

_As you should be._

Jaemin wakes up to hot tears rolling down his cheeks and a phantom pressure of a hand around his own. He uncurls it slowly, lifting it up to eye level to inspect the white lily crumbled in his palm. An apology for a slight not Jeno’s own. 

Tears still rolling down his cheeks, Jaemin sets the lily down on the altar and lights the candle as the clock turns to 3 am. 

★☾★

Another box of candles emptied.

“What if he doesn’t come home?” Jaemin isn’t supposed to hear this question and carves another sigil into the side of the candle in his hand. _Find your way to me safely_ , this one says in loops and circles.

“All we can do is help him,” Renjun says with a sigh, embroidering sigils into the black cloth in his hands. it’s meant to hang over the altar and thinking about it makes Jaemin’s throat close up. “But he _will_ come back.” 

_Let this light guide you home._ Jaemin carves into the candle with a single tear before setting it in the holder to light later in the day. He rests his hand on the golden locket with a lock of Jeno’s hair and holds it tightly, eyes squeezing shut for a long moment before it pulses in his hands.

_Hello_ , it says, _I feel you_.

★☾★

Had Jaemin not created a habit since the day Jeno left, he would not be able to tell just how long it has been. As it stands, his days are marked by lighting a candle a day and offering his heart up to the universe for his love to come back so he can sleep peacefully.

The ache in his rib cage is making it hard to breathe as Jaemin climbs out of bed at 2:55 am to kneel before his altar and prepare the next candle but he hasn’t been able to take a breath since Jeno slipped into the mist with a salute, a sweet smiled and a promise to return home soon.

That was three months ago.

Jaemin hasn't seen hide nor hair of him since.

He’s _felt_ Jeno, seen him in his dreams, but it is not the same as being able to reach out for him and feel the soft give of his flesh beneath his fingers. It feels like something has been torn away from Jaemin’s very soul and he’s dizzy with the pain of it. 

Jeno has never been gone this long and Jaemin's patience, usually a deep well, is running dry with anxiety.

He needs Jeno _home. He_ needs Jeno _home_ and in his _arms_. 

So he lights the candle and kneels before the altar, a tear-stained supplicant, and begs whatever gods are there to hear him to bring the love of his life home because he is no longer sure that he can go on without Jeno.

(Has he ever been able to? He's not quite certain of that.)

It's 3:33 am and the candle's wax is dripping in yellow tears down its sides when the front door creaks and the wind chimes on the front porch cheerfully jingle to welcome an arrival. It is not a foreign sound, Renjun, Mark, and Donghyuck have made it their collective mission to come check on Jaemin during the hour in shifts to make sure he doesn’t do something desperate, but the pittering of their familiars doesn’t follow the click of the door shut. 

Jaemin is too weary to hope and keeps his head bowed and hands clasped in his lap as the familiar sounds of someone taking their shoes off in the front hall sound. 

He's _trembling. He_ doesn’t remember when he started shaking but he doesn’t think he’ll be able to stop anytime soon. Hope is building in his chest and it is a more fearsome force than dread, serving to choke him on its cloyingly sweet taste. 

"Jaem? Baby?"

It's Jeno's voice, just outside of their bedroom. It sounds as tired as Jaemin feels but its familiarity sends Jaemin up in a flurry of stilted motions. Jaemin does not remember moving as he throws their bedroom door open and takes Jeno in with trembling hands. He Is in one piece and does not look worse for the wear but he is weary. 

Despite it all, though, Jeno is just as beautiful as he remembers.

"Jeno..." His voice is barely above a whisper, afraid that if he speaks too loudly that this illusion of Jeno will disappear in the wind because Jeno _cannot_ be here. There is no way that he's really in front of Jaemin right now, holding his hands, eyes sparkling with love and warmth.

"I am," Jeno says, voice firm. Jaemin did not realize he was speaking aloud, his entire being thrumming with the fact that thirty-three days later Jeno is home with him. He is a mere foot away but Jaemin cannot bring himself to touch him. What if he disappears? What if he was never here at all?

"Baby, I'm _here_." He takes Jaemin's hands in his and squeezes them and the reality of the situation takes Jaemin's knees out from under him and sends him tumbling into Jeno’s strong arms. He sobs and presses his face into Jeno's chest, the firm muscle pressing against his cheek a tangible reminder that Jeno is here. Jeno has come home and he still smells the same, a little like cedar, a little like petrichor, and a lot like the love of Jaemin's life.

Jeno sweeps Jaemin up in his arms, lips pressed firmly against his temple as he carries him to their bed and holds him so close that Jaemin feels like he's going to suffocate in his chest. He is real and solid and Jaemin’s hands shake as he cradles his stupidly handsome face.

Jaemin still can’t breathe properly, but what makes it down to his lungs smells of Jeno and only Jeno. He is drowning but it's the greatest feeling in the world after three months of nothing.

“You came back,” he whispers, voice choked with awe and a greater emotion that he can put a name on. “You came _back_ …”

Jeno leans into his hands, pressing a soft kiss to Jaemin’s palm. “I told you I would. It’s impossible for me to get lost when your light is at the end of every tunnel.” The candle burns bright on the altar, it’s flame wiggling fiercely in a gleeful little dance. “You’re only brighter with the candles.”

Jaemin pauses, sitting up from his place in Jeno’s lap to make sense of that. “Brighter with the candles? You can find your way back to me without them?” That doesn't make any _sense_ , Jaemin is not a witch of light. Jeno should not be able to find him everywhere he goes without the candles. “Jeno, that’s not possible…”

Jeno chuckles, leaning in to press fleeting little kisses over Jaemin’s face. He’s real, he’s _real_ , and Jaemin is a little drunk on that. “You have a tag lock of my hair and I have one of yours. that makes you my beacon.”

A beacon… The one thing that Jeno’s brother and father didn’t have. The one thing Jaemin never considered when he was on an emotional roller coaster waiting for Jeno to find his way home. He'd even made the _tag locks. He_ should have known this. “I didn’t…” Jaemin laughs softly, kissing Jeno fiercely and losing himself in the tender slide of their lips. “Gods, how could I have missed that? I made them!”

Jeno kisses him again to stop his train of thought, thumbs stroking soothing circles on Jaemin’s hips to bring him down from the adrenaline pumping through his veins. Jeno is warm and strong and everything Jaemin has ever wanted in his life. Their lockets meet with a soft click and Jaemin giggles softly, reaching between them to hold them together. The thrumming of his magic rushes to meet him and for a quick moment, he sees what Jeno sees.

Jaemin _glows_ for Jeno. he shines brighter than any candle flame and even the sun whenever Jeno is moving expertly over dimensional threads and needs to find his way home. He's radiant. “That’s how you find your way home?” He asks breathlessly, eyes watering again as the vision fades and he’s left staring at the greatest gift the gods have ever given him. 

“The candles and their sigils help,” Jeno admits with a soft laugh. He wraps his arms around Jaemin and tucks his face into his neck, inhaling the familiar bergamot and patchouli. “But nothing on any earth is brighter than you. Nothing can _ever_ burn as brightly as you.”

" _Kiss me,_ ” Jaemin pleads and melts into Jeno’s arms as he takes his breath away.

At 6:33 am, the candle finally goes out, melted down into a small nub with a rabbit-shaped wax pool beneath it. 

“I brought you something,” Jeno says as they lay together, hand resting lightly on Jaemin’s back as he lays on his chest tracing tiny sigils into his bare skin.

“Is it shiny?” Jaemin lifts his head and steals a kiss, swallowing Jeno’s soft chuckle with a cheshire grin.

Jeno rolls his eyes and reaches for his sweatshirt where it lays on the floor. Jaemin watches him dig and sits up on his elbows to inspect the red velvet pouch he takes out of the pocket. “What’s that?”

“It’s a _present_ , Nana.” Jeno is as patient as ever as he opens the pouch and produces a silver band with a blue star-shaped jewel, holding it out to Jaemin with a shy tilt to his lips. “It's why I was gone so long,” he admits as Jaemin’s mouth falls open and he reaches out to take it. “Jeno,” he breathes out, tears once again pooling in his eyes as the ring is slipped onto his ring finger instead. “ _Jeno_ , I’m going to scream.”

“Don’t do that,” Jeno whispers, linking their fingers and pressing a soft kiss to the glittering stone. “Just say ‘yes’.”

“There was never another answer! _Yes_ , in every universe, _yes_ ,” Jaemin whispers, moving his hand so he could kiss Jeno properly. He licks into his mouth, mapping it lazily as Jeno pulls him back into his arms. The first light of the morning peeks through their windows but time can go on as it needs to. The future may be uncertain but Jaemin knows one thing: Jaemin has Jeno and Jeno has Jaemin, and that is all that matters. 

**Author's Note:**

> [twt](https://twitter.com/faeriedoyoung)   
>  [cc](https://curiouscat.me/faeriedoyoung)


End file.
